Khosla Ka Ghosla - The review

Bapu wiped off the sweat that had gathered above his upper lip as he nervously walked towards the room.

"Yaar, I cant do this."

"Shall we go back then, Bapu ?"

"huh ? ok.." he turned back to return. Mani made a gesture as if to punch Bapu. They can't back out now. They had rehearsed it over in their heads for a while now.

"Dont worry Bapu. You have done bigger stage dramas than this. How can you be scared to play a small NRI role ? Dont worry, you will be fine. Just leave it all to me. Just act dignified. Remember - 'Broker or Party ?' "

"Broker or Party" said Bapu, nodding along as if he remembered his cue.

They entered the room, where Vijendarr was already waiting for them. Judging by Bapu's hesitant steps, he assumed that Mani was the NRI and that Bapu was his secretary. He proceeded to shake hands with Mani. Mani gestured towards Bapu to indicate that Bapu was the NRI. Vijendarr nodded as if he had known this all along, and turned towards Bapu, extending his hand out. Mani looked at Bapu, to see if Bapu froze again. He was ready to say something instead, when Bapu said

"Aap broker hain yaa party ?" ("Are you the broker or are you the party interested in buying ?")

Vijendarr was shocked. He was not used to being dominated during these discussions. He regained his composure and said

"Sir, you can think of me as the party itself. Why dont we.."

"Aap broker hain yaa party ?" Bapu repeated in a more stern tone.

"Broker" said Vijendarr with a sheepish smile.

"How many times have I told you that I dont want to talk to brokers??!" yelled Bapu in Mani's direction and walked off.

Mani could not believe it. Bapu had pulled it off much better than he had imagined. He could not contain his excitement. As soon as they stepped out of the office, he told Bapu how he felt. All their planning was coming together now. It all started with Mr KK Khosla (played by Anupam Kher) who pulled together his entire life's savings to buy a small plot. Unfortunately, before he could make plans to build something there, Kishore Khurana (played brilliantly by Boman Irani) captures it illegally. He demands 15 lakhs from KK Khosla, to return the land. After trying various ways to get the land back, they finally decide to listen to Asif (played by Vinay Pathak). Asif suggests that they trick Khurana into believing that a wealthy NRI wishes to sell a large piece of land for a reasonable price. When Khurana pays an advance fee to purchase the land, they could use the same money, to buy back their land. They beg and plead Bapu (played by Naveen Nischol) to play the role of the NRI, and convince Mani (played by Nitish Pandey) to act as Bapu's secretary. Asif suggests that they play this plan patiently and get the attention of the smaller fish at first - Vijendarr, a real estate broker. Asif predicts that Vijendarr would eventually lead them to Khurana.

So here they were, after their meeting with Vijendarr. They sat in a room with the Khoslas and Asif, not sure when they would hear back. Just like that, the phone rang and Mani picked it up. It was Khurana's secretary who called up to arrange for a meeting. They were elated. Mani asked Khurana's secretary to meet them at the room in the five start hotel, that they had rented.

Once they were in the room, Bapu started sweating again. He opened the room service menu to try and order something.

"Rs 250 for a single tea ?? Oh my god! Everything is so damn costly. "

"Bapu, everything is going to be expensive here. Please relax"

"I dont think we can afford to order that. Why dont you open the menu and order the cheapest item ?"

"That would be tea!" said Mani quietly.

Once again, Mani went over the plan in his head, ready to take over in case Bapu got nervous. Just as the door bell rang, Bapu excused himself to use the restroom. Mani chided Bapu on his ill-timing and hurried to open the door. He invited Khurana and his secretary politely and seated them. He made an excuse for Bapu, saying he was on a conference call with some minister. All the while, Khurana was calm, observing the room and Mani. After a while, Bapu entered the room, and looked at Mani who got up. He introduced Khurana in a low voice, and smiled nervously, expecting Bapu to go shake hands with him. Bapu turned towards Khurana and said in a loud voice

"Aap broker hain yaa party ?"

Khurana was shocked, as was his secretary. And Mani!. And with that one sentence, Bapu had established his superiority over Khurana, for all further dealings!

Our lawn!

Hope the weekend is bringing rest and some sleep to all of you. Here is an interesting story that you can read at your leisure. While we were preparing for our vacation to India, Uma and I (mostly I ) worried about how our lawn and in particular our vegetable garden and flower beds would fare during our absence. The vegetable garden has tomato plants and one of them had just started forming a tomato and I wanted to make sure it got enough water. The flower beds were also fairly sensitive to water. Although Uma's friend Sudha generously offered to stop by and check on our lawn and water it if possible, we politely refused her help. Firstly, it was going to be a lot of work. Secondly, she was going to be off for a week in between (for her anniversary) anyway. So, before we left, I scouted around a bit and found this cheap water timer that would water the most important parts of our lawn every morning for 30 minutes. I was happy with this. We tested it 2 days before we left and were satisfied with the results. However, a day before we left, we had a heavy rainfall and forecast for further rainfall while we were away. We were not sure how funny it would appear if our sprinklers came on after we left, right in the middle of a huge thunder storm. Remember, Padamati Sandhya Raagam and how Vijayashanti's father waters the lawn during rain ??

Anyway, we left for India, and Sudha kept checking on the lawn as often as she could. Apparently one day, while she was checking on our roses, she happened to talk to our neighbor. This old man who stayed across the street had talked to Uma and me a while ago and

appeared to be a nice guy. He apparently mistook Sudha for Uma and asked her when she planned to have the lawn mowed. The weeds in the lawn had grown too tall and he told her that it would end up costing us a lot if we didnt take care of it soon. This was a week before we got back in town. Sudha told the old man that she would inform us after we got back.

When we came back in town, the lawn was a horrible sight. Although our vegetable garden and flower beds were largely ok, the lawn itself was a mess. There were weeds that were half as tall as me in some places, and the sprinklers seemed buried in them somewhere. Creepers had started growing in some places and they clung to our flowering plants at some places. We somehow survived Monday morning and on the evening, I got to work with my lawn mower. My poor mower cried and pleaded with me as I worked very hard with it. It stopped about 15-20 times in the entire process and I finally figured out a way to make it work. It took me 2 hours and 45 minutes to get the lawn to decent shape. Uma and I are still working on removing the weeds from some hard to reach places.

Meanwhile, today we finally went to the post office to pick up a package that was waiting for us since Aug 14th or so. Turns out it was a letter, the contents of which I have scanned and attached with this email!

My take is that this old man who stays across our house, has complained to the Columbus City Council about the state of our lawn! Of course, I cant blame him for it or do anything about it. I am just amused by this whole turn of events and how we own our land, but not really get to do whatever we want with it. It might not sound strange to Vadina as she might have dealt with these things before. I am sure someone told me about this before, but I am just surprised at how soon this issue escalated. My only regret is that I did not take any before/after pictures of the lawn. The lawn is fairly clean now, although we are going to mow it again this weekend, to pick up some of the weeds that have managed to grow back!

Trip to India

I had an amazing trip to India. I visited a total of 6 different cities during my 2 week stay. Let's see now - I was in
1. Hyderabad from Aug 7th to Aug 10th, 13th to 15th and 17th to 18th
2. Tirupati from Aug 11th to Aug 12th
3. Karimnagar on Aug 12th
4. Chennai from 15th to 16th
5. Delhi from 18th to 19th
6. Agra from 19th to 20th

The trip was so great that I keep telling everyone I enjoyed every moment of the trip including the time I was sick! My only regret is that I could not get as much of Indian food as I would have liked - esp Chaat! :( The highlights of the trip are my brother's wedding, meeting almost all of my cousins (Phani, Vamsi, Siri, Pratyu, Srikanth and Rohit on my Mom's side; Balu Annayya, Nani Bava and Bunny Vadina on my father's side) at the wedding and spending quality time with all of them, meeting my cousin's kids - Atul and Aparanji, the dinner at my brother's wedding, eating Tawa sweet for the first time (and understanding what is meant by experiencing a piece of heaven!), shopping with my wife at the new malls in Hyd, celebrating my Dad's 60th birthday, tasting my Mom's cooking, our train travel to Tirupati, eating junk food in the train, shopping at the street-side vendors in Tirupati, buying comics and magazines at the railway station, our fabulous trip to Karimnagar and my sister-in-law's village, watching a telugu movie (Magadheera) at Radhika theatre, buying black tickets for that movie, eating at Ohris, drive on Tank Bund, eating American Chopsuey at Chutney's, beating my Dad to paying the bill at the restaurants, our trip to Chennai, eating Kaima Idly and Mixed Veg Parota at Saravana bhavan, ordering food for my Mom at the restaurant, eating Sundal at T Nagar, seeing the mad rush for Gold at GRT, dealing with a Govt official for a birth certificate at the Muncipal office, shopping for movie CDs at Sangeet Sagar, drinking entire cartons of Real Juice (Guava, Tomato and Mixed Fruit flavors), our stay at the Delhi guest house, visit to Lotus Temple, our unforgettable trip to Taj Mahal and Agra Fort, the guide (Ashok) who ripped us off at Agra, the unbelievably good handicrafts we saw at Agra, bargaining with the shop vendors at Agra, chiding the shop keepers about their excessive use of English, the enjoyable stay at Imperial Palace in Agra, the amazingly good dinner that we had there, the awesome omlettes that Hari made at the Delhi guest house, and lastly the two samosas I had at the Delhi airport before flying back.

In short, I enjoyed EVERY moment. As you can see, I am a sucker for everything Indian. Maybe, its due to the fact that I was there for a short time, or maybe it is due to the fact that I hadn't been there in a while, or maybe its because I really like being in India.

Sa-Ro-Ja

Jaganna (Jagapathy Babu played by the likeable SPB Charan) could not believe it. He stopped in shock and tried to think hard while the train pulled away. Chinni, Ganesh Kumar and Ajay yelled madly, egging him on to run towards the train. Jaganna stopped dead in his tracks and started searching furiously for his wallet. He remembered hiding in the store room when the goon was looking for them. And as he realized that he probably lost his wallet somewhere there, he cursed his luck and the fact thathe had to go back in to that abandoned building. Reluctantly, one by one, Chinni, Ajay and Ganesh Kumar got down from the moving train and ran back towards Jaganna not realizing what could be some important to stop him from running for his life.

What started out as a simple road trip of fun, to watch a cricket match in Hyderabad, had now gone sour. After they witnessed the killing of a policeman by Sampath, they had only one intention - to flee the place. After a great lot of difficulty, they managed to run to the tracks where they barely got on to the moving train. Almost. Jaganna realized that with this wallet lying around, the goons could always track him. It had pictures of his family, his driver's license and pretty much everything needed to locate him.

The four of them argued over who would go in. Jaganna pleaded with all of them to back while he went in alone to search for the wallet, but they did not agree. After a lot of deliberation, Ganesh Kumar (played fantastically by my now-favorite Prem G Amaran) is volunteered for the task. After scoping out the area as best as they could, the two of them finally reach the store room where they had been earlier, tip-toeing out! Just as Jaganna heaved a sign of relief at having spotted the wallet, he turned around and realized that Ganesh Kumar was no longer around. Yet another time in the day, Jaganna could not believe it. They had everything that they needed to get away, but were now missing a dear friend. He went back to Ajay and Chinni, who were waiting outside the building. No, Ganesh had not returned there.

In a dilapidated room, Saroja sat in the chair, against her will. Her heart was pounding and her throat was parched. She did not know where she was, she had little time to inspect her surroundings when her blindfold was removed momentarily. She barely got a glimpse of the pervert who was touching her inappropriately - one of Sampath's men, who had kidnapped her and were holding her hostage in this god-forsaken place! Thankfully, it looked like someone was coming that way, so he put back the blindfold on her and moved away. She sat in darkness knowing not what to expect next. As she heard footsteps, she cried out

"Please, don't do anything. Please let me go". What she heard next, caught her by surprise. A frail voice of Ganesh Kumar "Ille ille..naan avanga ille. " He explained briefly how they had come here by mistake, lost during their road trip. She asked a few questions and convinced herself that he was genuinely trying to help her. Just as they were preparing to leave, Ganesh Kumar turns to her and says "Seri, vaanga. Naan ungale kaapaathirein...Adhukku munnaadi, inge purse edhaavadhu vittengalaana parthhukonga. Yena..inge tirimbi vara mudiyaadhu!" (loosely translated - "Ok, I will help you. But, before we leave, please check if you have dropped your purse here. It will be very difficult to come back once we leave")

The movie has many such moments that I loved. I cant understand why there is so much hatred on the net for the music and the fact that it was copied off Judgement Night. I loved the characters in the movie who I thought acted well within their limits. I applaud Premji and Charan for doing something beyond music. And I loved Yuvan's music. With so many things to like, I could overlook the lack of a original story or "seasoned" actors.

Stages of music appreciation

Stages that I go through when I like a new song

1. Instant appreciation.

2. Listen repeatedly till I scare myself into hating the song.

3. Stop listening to the song and desparately try to get hooked to something else.

4. Forget what the song's tune was and recreate the wrong tune in my mind.

5. Give in to the song and listen to it again.

6. Get blown away a second time and realize that I did not observe the nuances during my first hearing.

7. Try to sing the song whenever/wherever and do a horrible job.

8. Hate the song because it is not easy to sing.

9. Praise all artists involved in the song and accept that singing is not for everyone.

Omkara: The power of a song

(image courtesy: www.xkcd.com)

I watched Omkara over the weeked. At first, I did not like the movie and was prepared to do an autopsy of what was wrong with the movie) and may well end up doing that. However, I can't do any justice to this review if I don't mention this song from the movie which has capitivated me more than any song has, in the past few years. The lyrics of the song go

Ooo...Saathi re

Din doobe na

Aa chal din ko roke

Dhoop ke peeche daude..

Chaanv chue na

(hence the connection with the xkcd pic)

If you are a reasonably insane movie watcher and occasionally read reviews to find out what has been going on in the Indian movie industry, you would have known that Vishal Bharadwaj too to movie direction from music direction and paid homage to Shakespeare with two movies - Omkara (adaptation of Othello) and Maqbool (adaptation of McBeth). However, if you are like me and do not know the story of Othello, please do not read the synopsis before watching the movie. Not because, it will ruin the movie for you, but because the movie deserves to be seen with an unbiased opinion. The following might contain spoilers so do not read further if you wish to keep an open mind and see the movie.

Omkara is a movie about a lot of things - there is the jealousy of Langda Tyagi (played well by Saif Ali Khan), there is the rise to power of Omkara (Ajay Devgan) and there is the innocence of Kesu Phirangi (Vivek Oberoi). You can forgive Vishal for trying to further milk the Ajay Devgan - Vivek Oberoi chemistry and setting up a scenario that viewers are familiar through RGV's Company. You can also forgive him for adding all the bells and whistles possible, by adding Naseeruddin Shah and Konkana Sen Sharma in roles that could have been done just as well by any other actor. However, what you cannot move past, is that the characters are easily manipulated in this movie. The heart of it all is Omkara himself who cannot see the ulterior motives behind Tyagi's claims or can't see his wife's loyality despite the fact that she chose to leave everything to be with him.

While I could go on and rant about this further, this post is mainly about this song which is holding my hand and preventing me from writing anything against this movie. You see, while the movie is about a lot of things, it is fundamentally about the love between Omkara and Dolly (Kareena Kapoor). When you see the movie a second time, you will see that these two have little time to be with each other and each moment is as important to them as the other. This song captures the beauty of this emotion, by Gulzaar's precise and deep lyrics. In these days, a lyricist rarely gets a chance to be heard above the layers of orchestrization and visuals that unfold on screen. However, thanks to Vishal's brilliant work in this song, the lyrics lead the way and set the mood of the song. Listening to this song, you feel that this movie was all about this love story and everything else just unfolds around the lead pair. The song felt so powerful that while I sat through predictable scenes and bad screenplay, I had this song running in the back of my head which set a mood for the film that no dialogue, camera angle, acting or prior review could do.

A week of firsts and something to think about...

It has been a week of firsts of all sorts. I had beetroot sambar for the first time in my life. Its amazing how I have had beetroot and sambar independently but this is the first time I had it together. You have to get past the different color but then it is a good taste.

Other than that I have had my first good dental experience. I have had a cavity bothering me for a little while now and with lot of hesitation, I took an appointment with this dentist that Uma had seen earlier. The doctor was very friendly and made me feel very comfortable. However, I cannot get past the idea of a dentist talking to me while I have a plumber's kit in my mouth. You see, the dentist was filling my cavity, so he stuck a device under my lips to keep my mouth pried open. Seeing that, this was not enough he wedged a bean shaped thing at my molars so that I could not bite down any more. Leaving me in this awkware position, he reclined my chair a little further than 180 degrees so that I felt a little bit upside down. He and the nurse then stare down my mouth while I try hard not to fog up his tiny mirror that he is using to see the underside of my tooth! While doing this, he told me some stories about his daughter and explained what he was doing with my teeth. I could not understand if he expected me to answer back or acknowledge that I heard him. At one point, he asked me if I was doing alright too!

At the end of the day as we were driving back after watching Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince, I told U about my experience with the dentist. I told her that I found it awkward to listen to a one-sided conversation without being able to acknowledge it. Without missing a beat she remarked

"Vaadiki entha bore kodithe vachina prati addamaina vedhava tho vaadi inti sangatulu cheptaadu ??"

(Loosely translated: "How bored must this guy be to narrate his personal stories to every dumbass who visits him ?")