How the Earth was made

I volunteer for a program called Book Buddies. Every week, I spend an hour with two kids helping them to read books. This includes helping them with pronunciation and comprehension. Since these are kids from the second grade, it is really a fun thing to do and the hour usually flies by very quickly. Today was a special day, since it was our last meeting for this year. The co-ordinators for the program gave the volunteers some gifts (a card, a picture of the two kids, a pencil, candy and a calendar). What's better, they had the kids hand out the gifts to the volunteers.

Typically every week, I help the kids read two books, learn some new words and play a word-game in 30 minutes. Today, one of the kids got to read a book in which a baby bear asks its mother for a bed time story. After we were done reading the book, I got talking with the kid about the story. Here's what happened.

"So, do you like to listen to a story when you go to sleep ?"

"Yes"

"Who reads to you at night ?"

"My Dad"

"Oh really ? Thats nice. What does he read to you ?"

"I forgot its name, but he read to me about how the Earth was made."

"Oh wow! So tell me, how was the Earth made ?"

"Well, there were these boy and girl called Adam and Eve. There was a poisonous snake. They had two kids and the two kids died..."

"..."

To put the media in its place

I came across this rather video of Ram Jethmalani, being interviewed by Sagarika Ghose from NDTV . Now if you are like me, and are not well-versed with popular and notorious personalities, you might not have heard about Ram Jethmalani. This guy is a criminal lawyer, who is well known for taking up famous cases (quite notably among them - Harshad Mehta). This particular video is about the Jessica Lal murder case. To put it in context, Jessica Lal, an upcoming model, who was found murdered at a bar, in 1999. The chief suspect was Manu Sharma, the son of a high-profile politician from the Indian National Congress. Ram Jethmalani took up Manu Sharma's case inspite of popular public and media opinions that Manu Sharma was guilty. Here, he states his case as to why he took it up.

A lot of things to be noted about the whole manner in which this murder has been tried in the court. Initially, the court did a lousy job of analyzing the evidence. It was only due to public and media intervention, that the case was reopened, and evaluated carefully. That being said, where does the job of the media end ? Is creating prejudice something the press should do ? Where do we get unbiased jury members from ? Should the press try to bias the defending lawyer as well ? The "popular opinion" about Indian judicial system and the Law and Order system may not be good. However, the solution is not to subject people to public trials, media scrutiny, and completely lose faith in the judicial system. Have faith in the system, and if it fails you, then try to appeal within its limits! I don't think the solution is for everyone to turn vigilantes and add to the existing law and order issue.

My morning routine

I have decided to pass on some knowledge. Something that everyone can benefit from - my morning routine. Every morning, I hope to be at my office by a modest 8:00 a.m. As you can see, I dont ask of much of myself. I try to usually go to bed by 11:00 pm, trying to give myself at least 8 hours of sleep. However, I end up sleeping a little bit late every day. Some times as late as 12 pm. So, now as I try to maximize my sleeping time, while meeting my modest goal of being at work by 8 a.m., I have set myself a very nice optimization problem. How do you optimize your early morning routine, without giving up on the important aspects of it ? Before, you jump ahead of me and assume that I arrive at work shabbily, skipping breakfast, or not having brushed my teeth, let me assure you that this is not the case. Every morning, I brush my teeth, give myself a shave, take a good bath, put on a clean pair of clothes (and these days a sweater), make myself a protein shake and drink it, leave a glass of water for my wife, warm up my car for 5 mins (since its winter) and wear my shoes before I leave.

The most important part of my optimized daily routine, is parallel-processing. Just because I have a lot of things to do, it does not mean I have to do them serially. Lets knock of the easiest thing which everyone has seen in a movie or two. Brushing your teeth while taking bath, or while picking your clothes for the day. Piece of cake. I still have not practiced shaving while doing some thing else as I am scared of cutting myself. Maybe with a electric shaver some day ? After I get ready and step out of my bedroom, my big tasks are to have a protein shake, pick up my keys, cell phone and wallet, wear my shoes and warm up my car. So, I first pick my keys and start my car. So it warms up while I do my other stuff. I prepare my protein shake and proceed to grab my wallet and cell phone. Now an important optimization step. Putting on my socks and shoes. I put on the first sock on my left leg, and while I am putting the sock on my right leg, I slip my left leg in to the shoe. Voila! knocked off 10 secs right there! Next, I slip on my other shoe. But, I do not tie my shoe-lace right away. That my dear friends, can wait. I get in to my now warm car, and begin to drive. I have learnt that my drive will typically involve at least two traffic lights. So instead of twiddling my thumbs while waiting at the traffic light, I tie my show laces at the traffic lights. Cha-Ching! A good 30 seconds in your pocket! Want to save more time, wear your sweater while waiting at the traffic light. 10 more seconds! A little more time ? Dont wear your socks or shoes till you get in the car. Put them in a cover in the passenger seat beside you and wear them at the traffic lights. Dont make the mistake of leaving the shoes at your feet without wearing them. It can be a real hazard, as the shoes can come in the way of your gas pedal or brake pedal. So, you see, I care about my safety and the safety of others too!

Do you have some tips to save more time in your morning routine ?? Let me hear them.

My most humiliating moment

It was the summer of late 1980s or early 1990s. I was probably around 10 yrs old. We lived in an apartment complex which was pretty close to our school. In fact my parents moved to that area just because it was pretty close to our school. After some days, we got introduced to kids in the neighborhood and we used to meet regularly to play cricket or hide-and-seek or other such games. One such kid we got introduced to was Seenu. Seenu was an instant star in the group. Everybody wanted to be on his side, in a team. It was because he was a loud guy. He didn't hesitate in speaking out against anything, and he was usually witty in his comments. But one other thing that he was known for, was instigating troubles. He had this habit of trying to create drama by ratting people out, or by plain creating rumors. But the main too pests in the story are two guys whom I will call Karthik and Nimeesh. Because thats what their names really are. I got introduced to these guys through my brother as they were closer to his age than mine. They were the typical guys who thought they were too cool to hang out with kids who are younger to them. Karthik was a typical south-indian looking guy - dark toned, vibhoodi (sacred ash) on his forehead, lanky and fairly tall for his age. Nimeesh was also a lanky guy, unkempt hair, fair skinned and had two large front tooth. The reason I mention how they look is that I hope they stumble upon my blog some time and realize without any doubt that it is them that I am talking about! Karthik and Nimeesh were the biggest snobs in the complex, IMHO. Of course, my view is tainted by the fact that I hate them and I wish the worst for each of them. That apart, they always had a fake english accent - Karthik's was much worse than Nimeesh's. They always seemed to look down upon the thing that regular kids did - playing in the sun, getting dirty etc. The only times I interacted with them was when I tagged along with my brother and they did their best to try and talk to him without trying to involve/acknowledge my presence.

Anyway, now that the characters have been set, here's what happened (with all due respect to Adrian Monk, I am not solving a mystery here). On one sunny afternoon, I went out to the quadrangle in the complex, hoping to meet some kids and play something. I went on my own for some reason, and happened to find Seenu there. I went to his house and we walked up to the terrace of a building. It just so happened that Karthik was on the terrace of another building, which was right across the building we were at. Seenu got talking with Karthik and at one point, got him to say something which appeared like Karthik was cussing at me. Now, for some reason, I was mature enough to see what Seenu was doing. He was trying to create some drama on this boring day. I didnt bite on it, even when Seenu tried to rile me, about the cuss words. I just shrugged it off and said "It does not matter" or something to that effect. What I discounted, was Seenu's ability to make the most out of nothing. He turned to Karthik, who clearly could not hear what I said, and shouted out to him "Oh! This guy thinks you dont matter. He thinks you are a nobody!" or something to that effect. Before I could say anything, Karthik started off as a possessed guy, and began swearing at me. He took off from the terrace saying he would come to where I was, and "settle the issue like a man". I was still thinking this was going to be some kind of a joke, so I just waited there. Mostly, my ego was making me stay there, as I did not want to chicken out and run away in case there was going to be a fight. Once Karthik got there, he held my hands behind my back with one hand, and started swearing more at me. You have to know, that I was a much lankier guy, not to mention smaller. I was easily over powered. But the most important thing was I lacked the will to fight. Having been brought up lot more decently, than Karthik, at no point was I thinking of hurting this guy or saying something back. I just tried to wiggle myself out of the situation and walk away. Before I could do that, Nimeesh showed up on the terrace of the building opposite us. He laughed at the situation and pulled out a catapult that he had made. He asked Karthik to hold me steady so that he could do some "target practice". So as I was held helplessly by Karthik, Nimeesh continued to fling paper clips, or small stones or whatever he could launch with his catapult. It was the worst I had ever felt in my life, to date. After a while, Karthik let me go as I guess some sense dawned upon his pea-sized brain eventually. His dad and my dad knew each other, and if this issue had escalated, he would have had to face some heat. I, of course, did not tell my parents about this for a lot of reasons.

It would have been fantastic to have an epilogue for this story - If I somehow found out that Karthik was begging at the railway stations or works at a Sulabh Complex (public urinals in India) and Nimeesh was cleaning the floors of trains, or picking up dung from the railway tracks, for a living. Unfortunately, I dont have the energy to go looking out for two a-holes and what they are currently up to. For all that I know, they are probably well off. At least Nimeesh looked like his parents were well off. I do wish the very worst in life for both of them though.

Khosla Ka Ghosla - The review

Bapu wiped off the sweat that had gathered above his upper lip as he nervously walked towards the room.

"Yaar, I cant do this."

"Shall we go back then, Bapu ?"

"huh ? ok.." he turned back to return. Mani made a gesture as if to punch Bapu. They can't back out now. They had rehearsed it over in their heads for a while now.

"Dont worry Bapu. You have done bigger stage dramas than this. How can you be scared to play a small NRI role ? Dont worry, you will be fine. Just leave it all to me. Just act dignified. Remember - 'Broker or Party ?' "

"Broker or Party" said Bapu, nodding along as if he remembered his cue.

They entered the room, where Vijendarr was already waiting for them. Judging by Bapu's hesitant steps, he assumed that Mani was the NRI and that Bapu was his secretary. He proceeded to shake hands with Mani. Mani gestured towards Bapu to indicate that Bapu was the NRI. Vijendarr nodded as if he had known this all along, and turned towards Bapu, extending his hand out. Mani looked at Bapu, to see if Bapu froze again. He was ready to say something instead, when Bapu said

"Aap broker hain yaa party ?" ("Are you the broker or are you the party interested in buying ?")

Vijendarr was shocked. He was not used to being dominated during these discussions. He regained his composure and said

"Sir, you can think of me as the party itself. Why dont we.."

"Aap broker hain yaa party ?" Bapu repeated in a more stern tone.

"Broker" said Vijendarr with a sheepish smile.

"How many times have I told you that I dont want to talk to brokers??!" yelled Bapu in Mani's direction and walked off.

Mani could not believe it. Bapu had pulled it off much better than he had imagined. He could not contain his excitement. As soon as they stepped out of the office, he told Bapu how he felt. All their planning was coming together now. It all started with Mr KK Khosla (played by Anupam Kher) who pulled together his entire life's savings to buy a small plot. Unfortunately, before he could make plans to build something there, Kishore Khurana (played brilliantly by Boman Irani) captures it illegally. He demands 15 lakhs from KK Khosla, to return the land. After trying various ways to get the land back, they finally decide to listen to Asif (played by Vinay Pathak). Asif suggests that they trick Khurana into believing that a wealthy NRI wishes to sell a large piece of land for a reasonable price. When Khurana pays an advance fee to purchase the land, they could use the same money, to buy back their land. They beg and plead Bapu (played by Naveen Nischol) to play the role of the NRI, and convince Mani (played by Nitish Pandey) to act as Bapu's secretary. Asif suggests that they play this plan patiently and get the attention of the smaller fish at first - Vijendarr, a real estate broker. Asif predicts that Vijendarr would eventually lead them to Khurana.

So here they were, after their meeting with Vijendarr. They sat in a room with the Khoslas and Asif, not sure when they would hear back. Just like that, the phone rang and Mani picked it up. It was Khurana's secretary who called up to arrange for a meeting. They were elated. Mani asked Khurana's secretary to meet them at the room in the five start hotel, that they had rented.

Once they were in the room, Bapu started sweating again. He opened the room service menu to try and order something.

"Rs 250 for a single tea ?? Oh my god! Everything is so damn costly. "

"Bapu, everything is going to be expensive here. Please relax"

"I dont think we can afford to order that. Why dont you open the menu and order the cheapest item ?"

"That would be tea!" said Mani quietly.

Once again, Mani went over the plan in his head, ready to take over in case Bapu got nervous. Just as the door bell rang, Bapu excused himself to use the restroom. Mani chided Bapu on his ill-timing and hurried to open the door. He invited Khurana and his secretary politely and seated them. He made an excuse for Bapu, saying he was on a conference call with some minister. All the while, Khurana was calm, observing the room and Mani. After a while, Bapu entered the room, and looked at Mani who got up. He introduced Khurana in a low voice, and smiled nervously, expecting Bapu to go shake hands with him. Bapu turned towards Khurana and said in a loud voice

"Aap broker hain yaa party ?"

Khurana was shocked, as was his secretary. And Mani!. And with that one sentence, Bapu had established his superiority over Khurana, for all further dealings!

Our lawn!

Hope the weekend is bringing rest and some sleep to all of you. Here is an interesting story that you can read at your leisure. While we were preparing for our vacation to India, Uma and I (mostly I ) worried about how our lawn and in particular our vegetable garden and flower beds would fare during our absence. The vegetable garden has tomato plants and one of them had just started forming a tomato and I wanted to make sure it got enough water. The flower beds were also fairly sensitive to water. Although Uma's friend Sudha generously offered to stop by and check on our lawn and water it if possible, we politely refused her help. Firstly, it was going to be a lot of work. Secondly, she was going to be off for a week in between (for her anniversary) anyway. So, before we left, I scouted around a bit and found this cheap water timer that would water the most important parts of our lawn every morning for 30 minutes. I was happy with this. We tested it 2 days before we left and were satisfied with the results. However, a day before we left, we had a heavy rainfall and forecast for further rainfall while we were away. We were not sure how funny it would appear if our sprinklers came on after we left, right in the middle of a huge thunder storm. Remember, Padamati Sandhya Raagam and how Vijayashanti's father waters the lawn during rain ??

Anyway, we left for India, and Sudha kept checking on the lawn as often as she could. Apparently one day, while she was checking on our roses, she happened to talk to our neighbor. This old man who stayed across the street had talked to Uma and me a while ago and

appeared to be a nice guy. He apparently mistook Sudha for Uma and asked her when she planned to have the lawn mowed. The weeds in the lawn had grown too tall and he told her that it would end up costing us a lot if we didnt take care of it soon. This was a week before we got back in town. Sudha told the old man that she would inform us after we got back.

When we came back in town, the lawn was a horrible sight. Although our vegetable garden and flower beds were largely ok, the lawn itself was a mess. There were weeds that were half as tall as me in some places, and the sprinklers seemed buried in them somewhere. Creepers had started growing in some places and they clung to our flowering plants at some places. We somehow survived Monday morning and on the evening, I got to work with my lawn mower. My poor mower cried and pleaded with me as I worked very hard with it. It stopped about 15-20 times in the entire process and I finally figured out a way to make it work. It took me 2 hours and 45 minutes to get the lawn to decent shape. Uma and I are still working on removing the weeds from some hard to reach places.

Meanwhile, today we finally went to the post office to pick up a package that was waiting for us since Aug 14th or so. Turns out it was a letter, the contents of which I have scanned and attached with this email!

My take is that this old man who stays across our house, has complained to the Columbus City Council about the state of our lawn! Of course, I cant blame him for it or do anything about it. I am just amused by this whole turn of events and how we own our land, but not really get to do whatever we want with it. It might not sound strange to Vadina as she might have dealt with these things before. I am sure someone told me about this before, but I am just surprised at how soon this issue escalated. My only regret is that I did not take any before/after pictures of the lawn. The lawn is fairly clean now, although we are going to mow it again this weekend, to pick up some of the weeds that have managed to grow back!

Trip to India

I had an amazing trip to India. I visited a total of 6 different cities during my 2 week stay. Let's see now - I was in
1. Hyderabad from Aug 7th to Aug 10th, 13th to 15th and 17th to 18th
2. Tirupati from Aug 11th to Aug 12th
3. Karimnagar on Aug 12th
4. Chennai from 15th to 16th
5. Delhi from 18th to 19th
6. Agra from 19th to 20th

The trip was so great that I keep telling everyone I enjoyed every moment of the trip including the time I was sick! My only regret is that I could not get as much of Indian food as I would have liked - esp Chaat! :( The highlights of the trip are my brother's wedding, meeting almost all of my cousins (Phani, Vamsi, Siri, Pratyu, Srikanth and Rohit on my Mom's side; Balu Annayya, Nani Bava and Bunny Vadina on my father's side) at the wedding and spending quality time with all of them, meeting my cousin's kids - Atul and Aparanji, the dinner at my brother's wedding, eating Tawa sweet for the first time (and understanding what is meant by experiencing a piece of heaven!), shopping with my wife at the new malls in Hyd, celebrating my Dad's 60th birthday, tasting my Mom's cooking, our train travel to Tirupati, eating junk food in the train, shopping at the street-side vendors in Tirupati, buying comics and magazines at the railway station, our fabulous trip to Karimnagar and my sister-in-law's village, watching a telugu movie (Magadheera) at Radhika theatre, buying black tickets for that movie, eating at Ohris, drive on Tank Bund, eating American Chopsuey at Chutney's, beating my Dad to paying the bill at the restaurants, our trip to Chennai, eating Kaima Idly and Mixed Veg Parota at Saravana bhavan, ordering food for my Mom at the restaurant, eating Sundal at T Nagar, seeing the mad rush for Gold at GRT, dealing with a Govt official for a birth certificate at the Muncipal office, shopping for movie CDs at Sangeet Sagar, drinking entire cartons of Real Juice (Guava, Tomato and Mixed Fruit flavors), our stay at the Delhi guest house, visit to Lotus Temple, our unforgettable trip to Taj Mahal and Agra Fort, the guide (Ashok) who ripped us off at Agra, the unbelievably good handicrafts we saw at Agra, bargaining with the shop vendors at Agra, chiding the shop keepers about their excessive use of English, the enjoyable stay at Imperial Palace in Agra, the amazingly good dinner that we had there, the awesome omlettes that Hari made at the Delhi guest house, and lastly the two samosas I had at the Delhi airport before flying back.

In short, I enjoyed EVERY moment. As you can see, I am a sucker for everything Indian. Maybe, its due to the fact that I was there for a short time, or maybe it is due to the fact that I hadn't been there in a while, or maybe its because I really like being in India.